Jonathan asked me today if Truman's ability to focus, or lack thereof, was according to the "calendar." So I went here to check.
It seemed as if he was about on schedule in some areas, and ahead in others. And as I was scanning the chart, the two month milestones and the three month and four...suddenly I felt like screaming, putting the breaks on, "STOP!!!!" at the top of my lungs. Everything is going TOO FAST. He's already five weeks, plus. I can't take this breakneck grow-up pace. I want to just be mama to my little eensy eight-pounder always.
Already he's getting heavy, I'm about ready to move him from the sling to a more evenly-distributed ultimate wrap. He's almost smiling, he's doing mini-pushups, he's making new noises all the time. He's just growing like crazy.
I'm so conflicted, bouncing back from wanting my baby to grow up so he can play with his brother ("When Truman is grows up, he's going to play with me - when Truman is grows up, he's going to talk to me - when Truman is grows up, he's going to play in my room -") and wanting him to stay a tiny baby. It's like this with everything my sweet boys do, I can't stand the growing up and I can't wait for it to happen. It's one big bittersweet blur, this mamahood.
